MY LIL' ISLAND

2010-02-05T10:19:00.001-08:00

Really really tired but still unable to sleep.. N I need to be up early tmr n get to town by 830. Amazingg. The allowance is way too little for what we have to do. ): 赚钱是辛苦的，爸爸好伟大 (:

I hereby proclaim I will not get drunk nor club this year! CNY resolution.

Valentines day out on 11th.mass of hotness. We will know why if the theatre is warn.

Still can't find what I want... Or am I just afraid of regret?

2010-01-27T19:59:00.000-08:00

what i've learnt in conversations. but no idea if my writing is correct. hehe, writing based on hearing.

안녕하새요!
저는이린이미다
저는NTU학생임미다
난양태학교애타임미다
만나써 방깝심미다
저는 씽가버르에쎠 와쎠요

행복어디애써?
저는 기다리는..
나빠남자 씨러요!!!!
왜 맘미아파써?

2010-01-26T04:06:00.000-08:00

greatest voices, because the Faith is great. Because it comes from the heart, for god. Hillsong united's really good!!!

2010-01-24T08:46:00.000-08:00

so much to say, but no idea where to start.
i don't really express myself well.
too many things i cant explain.
been wanting to use the right words, but i'll end up using wrong ones.
i hope mastering communication helps? but i seriously doubt so. hahaha

my gastric feels kinda messed up now. cereal dint really help. ):

watched gossip girl again. started on vampire diaries. bad time to start i know, but i couldnt resist.
cant wait for valentines day to come out. then again, no valentine to watch with. hahah..
officially gave up on horoscopes and zodiacs. yeap. like what mr busy said just now, how can there be 12 fates?! I've found my own faith. I'm new with this, and i'm still learning. I hope my heart will be filled then.

okay, i've yet to do the tutorial for tmr. guess i'll do it tmr during break. hehe.

good luck to the cheer team. sorry for backing out again and again. but then again, i've never been part of it, all the hard work all of you had put in. i don't want me to go in and ruin things.

nope, thats not the inferiority complex kicking in. though i wouldnt ignore the fact that its been there all along. but its for the best. (: as for the inferiority complex. hmmmm. i'm sure i will see a change soon. I WILL start BELIEVING, in myself and in Him.

okay, back to work. and everything else, it'll be sealed and corked up for today.

so much uncertainties.

2010-01-16T18:38:00.001-08:00

It takes 2 hands to clap.

Unwritten

2010-01-16T10:03:00.001-08:00

I can't sleep
Even when I'm trying to
Closed eyes
Wouldn't do

Unwritten

2010-01-16T02:54:00.001-08:00

I see my peers hitting the big 2. Oh dear, time flies and I'm growing olddd. On bus 27 right now and the bus was swerving like no ones business. I should supposedly balance better with my low cg. But apparently not. One of the commuter was amused by how much I swerved and how hard it was for me to hold on to the handles up there. Know she wasn't being rude. She smiled at me. Odd way to make someone smile! Hahah but at least I did (: waiting for Shihui at he busstop. Traveling is convenient in sk, (esp when I'm staying at he expressway) BUT just not to NTU. The express bus service is coming soon , though I Wun see the need for it this sem. Would like to try it out though, hahah. It feels like old time, taking school bus.

My voice is halfway back, but I still can't sing ): can't hit certain notes. Aargghh, really miss singing. If my voice dun ever come back I'll be so freaking sad.

I see Shihui bus! Seeya
Unwritten

2010-01-15T21:12:00.001-08:00

Back at my old place doing hair. Going to jas's party later, meeting Elaine n Manda tmr and going back hall straight. Where's the mugging??!!!!
Hope I'm nt sleepy enough to do it on sun night. But no lounge to go to ):):):

Unwritten

2010-01-15T18:48:00.001-08:00

There are actually paid apps for the countdown!!

Live the way u want it nowww!!!!!

2010-01-14T06:22:00.001-08:00

Another good read

Unwritten

2010-01-13T20:14:00.002-08:00

Watched The Time Traveler' Wife yesterday.
Rachel McAdams(Clare) is simply hot. and Eric Bana (Henry a.k.a TheTimeTraveler) is HOT TOO!! a combi of keanu reeves and hugh jackman!! oolala~ okays, enough of salivating over the cast. The movie wasn't too bad if not for the medication kicking in halfway. BUT I'm pretty sure the novel will do ALOT better. My bro's hogging it now, so till he finishes, and till i'm done with The Last Lecture, i'll move on to that amazing read everyone were so in to.
The movie wasn't so much of a tearjerker, leaves me mellow with a tinge of melancholy. teared in a few scenes , and the most memorable ones were henry with her daughter and henry in the subway with his mum. I guess its really important to tell how much you love your loved ones. They might not know it, and you might not be there in time to tell them. Time traveling don't exist in our world, not that I know of at least. (p.s. i'm always leaving room for fantasies. heh)

my fingers are going numb. the medication is really quite effective! nice job doc, hope i can get back my voice ASAP. K session awaits me! i had a really odd dream. I dreamt that I was performing on stage with S.H.E!! lol. Guess I really really love to sing. Thats the only time i feel alive. Ftw, i really don't sing tt well. and my dear roomie please stop telling the whole world i can!!!!! lol. many will be very disappointed!!! My ability is like a plankton in the vast ocean. but im a happy plankton at least, when i sing (: for now, lemme hope i can get over stage fright.

just received a really really long msg from angela. hahaha, i wonder why we don't talk on the phone instead! but its gooood, i love long msges. Really nice to have u around everytime. (: Though we don't get to see each other often, we treasure the times when we are! this sounds so gay!! LOL. and i should try to not cling on to u like a koala bear next time. i sense weird stares from the public. HAHAHA. yes i look at pretty girls, i have female eye candies and i cling on to my wife like a koala, but take my word. im STRAIGHT!! LIKE THIS _________________ VERY STRAIGHT. I adore beautiful things , tts all. and probably side effects from past experiences, BUT, i do fancy guys, still . LOL.

People are turning pretty, especially people in love. I've yet to experience the wonders of it, and so I'm taking them in from novels, movies and drama. Cant deny they aren't doing much good, bringing my expectations higher, and being way too idealistic about it. I still believe we're made in pairs, just that he's yet to cross my path. or maybe he did, but we never knew. Will i ever know?

To wait or to pursue?

Guide me, Father.
For now, my pursuits will be set on knowledge. I want more answers, and i believe I will find them myself. Knowledge will not leave me, it will not mock me. It will always be there, filling me up, and leaving room for more. The emptiness i feel will be filled, because i will then be rich. Not with tangible gold, but hidden treasures that will be invaluable.

The last lecture

2010-01-13T20:14:00.001-08:00

Current read:

Unwritten

To the doc, finally

2010-01-13T04:25:00.001-08:00

So much med :(
Nice doctor gave mr discount somemore lol! And 2 days MC (: I'm legally ponning lecture hahhas

Unwritten

2010-01-12T23:23:00.001-08:00

In transit and lost. What am I doing?

2010-01-12T09:51:00.000-08:00

i conclude that cough is the worst thing to have!!!
beats fever and flu. and so sorry to the people whom i've spread to!!!
come to me for pi pa gao or whtever u all need!!!!

wheezing is back when i thought i recovered. ):
maybe its the aircon.
argghhh, god bless us.

Theres a reason why i'm created this way, but i don't see it, yet?

2010-01-12T06:30:00.001-08:00

Night lights and emo songs.

ME

2010-01-12T06:28:00.001-08:00

So easy to sink in, so hard to climb out of it..

ME

7 New Habits

2010-01-08T09:43:00.000-08:00

This is a +ve post!!!!!

NOTE TO SELF:

1) see a doc ASAP

2) NO MORE EMO POSTS!!

3) NO MORE self hate situations!!
i'm just gonna put my best to everything. and if i still suck, i would simply resign to fate. no one's born perfect eh?

4) OPEN MY EYES and OPEN MY HEART.
looking back into the past, realised many things i've missed. Beautiful things are everywhere, i just need to discover them, right? My heart tells me the wrong things sometimes, but well, theres always my friends to help me judge eh? whats right and whats wrong.....

5) MOVE ON.
lingering in the past way too often. mistakes made, damage done. so, lesson learnt?

6) GPA 4+
this is to pull up my really cui GPA from last sem. Therefore, no more late nights, no more intensives trainings, no more stoning, and most imptantly, no more sleeping in lectures and tutorials. NO MORE. pinch me everytime i do sleep okayyy?!?!?!?!!?! AUNTIE U SEE THIS!? wake me up everytime i sleep!!!!!!!

7) Regain my patience.
too much adrenaline rush my bro says. Increasingly combustable. stayed away from home for too long i suppose. been popping back now and then lately so that i don't forget how i survived my 18 years at home. i get angry easily lately, at myself only actually. I am still nice, but not a push over anymore. (:

hmm... cant seem to think of anymore at the moment. LAST but not least be HAPPY? hahhas, not a huge problem since i find amusement in anything. oh!!! and dance dance revolution is actually quite fun. i wanna secretly go play again. and Alvin is damnnn zai !!! oh! Alvin just reminded me of the movie i wanna watch!!!!!! we need to watch it soon!!!! school is starting!!!!!!

IHG and Sentosa totally burned me. I miss my voice!!!!!!! It was gone yesterday. now i'm left with a really husky manly tone. wonder what my voice will become... i don't mind having a less kiddy voice ! so lets hope i retain a little bit of the bass tone after this cough. my physique and my voice totally label me as a kid please. hahaha. I AM NOT.

i want nice music. so please spam with songs aight?!?!??!!?!?

OH . sudden urge to play dai di. hahahaha.

9am foyer tmr
training at hall 2
match at 2
go home after match?

mmmm..... i need to get a few things done, but my mum will so kill me if she see me burnt like this. HAO HAO HAO???

2010-01-06T17:26:00.001-08:00

Stephen in action - again.
I need epiphany.
Self controversial, self hate
Flaws magnified
Dunggg

Someone take them all away,
But why do your voice pop up in my head still, now and then. Wasn't aware of the impact you had on me. Maybe it was real then, or at least I thought it was...?

2010-01-06T10:52:00.000-08:00

great show, great song. (:

if the the cycle's coming to an end.

2010-01-05T22:18:00.000-08:00

its not a bad thing really.
so much destruction done, the world's crumbling.
well, let it crumble.
lets give nature a break.
hit the restart button in 2 years , and recover the beauty of plains.
not a bad idea.
at least we end this journey together.
living is the process of dying.
its just what we do while we wait.
some chose to help others reach their destination, faster.
and some try hard to prevent from reaching.
all futile, I would say.

if the prophecy is true, well then, i'd be happy to reach my destination with everyone else,
together.
it is good to have a deadline set,
so we know what we want to accomplish.
so that we do not leave regret.

live like tmr's the last day people!!!!!!
Carpe diem !!!

Merry Xmas eve!!

2009-12-23T21:54:00.000-08:00

Omgggg interruption from a text so wht I typed dint get saved!! Urgh lol oh well laterrrrr den! Till nw , have fun this Xmas eve!! Enjoy the lights at town nw cause this may be the second last Xmas with lights or even Everrrr!

Test test

2009-12-23T08:43:00.001-08:00

Found an app for blogger! Dunno if it works though! If it actually does I'll blog more often! Hahaha
Turning in soon!! After a chapter (: nighty nights !!

ME

爱不单行(插曲)

2009-12-15T04:42:00.000-08:00

海派甜心插曲 - 愛不單行(羅志祥)
愛不單行

找不到人說
心裡的寂寞
找不到人懂
怕黑的折磨
找不到命中注定
在一起的那个人

很多人都像我
一個人過生活
愛只有簡單筆畫
卻比想像複雜
恨安定愛變化
我愛過幾個人
也被愛過幾遍
卻還是沒能將幸福留下

愛是不可数的嗎
為何我還相信
它不是獨行俠
我在等一個人
在等我的永恒
告訴我愛不單行
別害怕用不完身邊
氾濫的自由
開始怕孤單
是一種詛咒
羨慕我能飛的人
為何在天黑以後
還是寧願回到
愛情那個枷鎖

愛只有簡單筆劃
卻比想像複雜
恨安定愛變化我愛過幾個人
也被愛過幾遍卻還是沒能
將幸福留下

愛是不可数的嗎
為何我還相信
它不是獨行俠
我在等一個人
在等我的永恒
告訴我愛不單行別害怕

我在等一個人
在等我的永恒
告訴我愛不單行別害怕
我在等一個人
在等我的永恒告訴我
愛不單行相信它

sigh oh sigh, why oh why.

2009-12-05T21:15:00.000-08:00

I'm in a super URGH mood now. =(
my mum's nt helping. you girls know what I mean. haiz.
Faith must be off in korea right now.
SY back soon..
BUIN YOU'LL LEAVE SOON TOO.. HAOOOOOOOOO..?!?!??!?!?!

finished twilight and i really wanna get my hands on new moon soon!!!!!
bringing two of cecelia's new books back to hall to emo with me
these books are not doing much good to me.
except leaving me to swoon and croon at every little detail. haiz
can only read them off from books, watch them on screen.
dream a little dream, not wishing to wake sometimes..
i had bad luck for 19 years and still on going....
so god, it better be good when it comes.
or are u just not gonna let it happen. ):
most of us are feeling the same eh? i feel you girls, totally.

hahaha, 骏！！I suddenly rmbed our suntec water fountain pact. lol. i forgot what date it was alrdy luh. xmas eve?! was it 5 years or 10 years? lol!

the sky's turning dark... don't think i'm gonna shop alrdy..
so not in the mood pls. will some nice angel sprinkle some happy dust on me please?!
i prolly need a bucketful. sigh. okayyy. i'll go bask myself in more books..

ciao~

SWEET LIBERATION

2009-12-01T06:21:00.000-08:00

WHEEEEEEE!! NO MORE READINGS AND LECTURE NOTES , FOR NOW AT LEAST. HAHAHAHHAHAHAA
SPENT THE FIRST 2 DAYS OF FREEDOM WITH LINGUISTS! caught 2012 like finallyyyyyyyyy.... i kinda believe that the world is coming to an end. so, anyone interested in building a space shuttle or vessel?? Went shopping with da girls todayyyyyyyy... miss town! HAHAH. thought the girls were quite bored initially since i was the only one trying stuffs at first. hahah!!!! well... gonna post some random pics !!!!!!!! so i dun have to type so much. wahhahahaha

the giant bowl noodle thats making me uncomfortable now... ):

this is the uber cool HK milk tea that has dry ice in the hole in the flask. hahaha. feels like science experiment..

everyone busily taking photos of this cool thing. hahaha

The best attempt out of many.. lol.

two of us!!!!!!

leen and min

min and sy!

MIN!

pretty seohying! credits : stylist - MY MUM!

hehe. my new book case!!!(: LUV IT. gonna fill it up with books.. ^_^

my bro claimed that this is very artistic. LOL!!!! uber unglam pls... hahahaha

damnn nice! they're made up of bears !!!! @ TAKA (:

MUGGING AT AIRPORT WITH ANGELAAAA XD

WE CONCLUDED THIS LOOKS LIKE ME. HAHAHA. sleepyyy
the cookie monster tts constantly abused by me everytime i see it. hahahahah

MY VERY OWN CUP (:

THATS ALL FOLKS! HAHAHAHA

AHHHHHHHHH

2009-11-26T19:32:00.000-08:00

LOL. i really cannot rmb which day we're supposed to meet again!!!!!! hahahahaha pls do not kill me! had an amazing time yesterday yo!!!!!!! Happiest day since dunno when!! and guess what, the laughing bug latched itself on me when i got home.. i laughed nonnnn stop, nearly thought i was gonna get a heart attack. HEART not HARD.
HAHAHAS, and my bro found out where the snow flake came from... it was from my strap =.= made us happy for nothing! lol!!!! and my mum is very against me going to Tokyo.. haiz... still trying to persuade her, but i may just get the ticket first and see how. HAHAH. AMAZING FOOOOOOD HERE I COMEEEE!!!!!!!! and i can visit my cousin!!! gonna let her know soon, so she can join in the persuading squad. exams are coming to an end.. it almost feels like the end, because i'm not in any mood to mug. NOT ANY AT ALL. its a friday and i feel like going out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i will, but just dunno where. BOOHOOO. its like half the population will be out there on the streets cause its a public holiday. ahhhhhh!!! KITTY LAB!! angela gng with her mum , bro going with gf.. AHHHH i wanna go toooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my left eye lid still wouldnt stop twitching ever since i woke up... some mega mega good thing gonna happen ?!!???! Like someone gonna drop me a 5 million cheque so i can stop studying? lol. or am i gonna bump in to the man of my dreams later? hahahahha. wishful thinking on my part here, but at the rate its twitching, it feels like a mega good thing. LOL. This entry is full of exclaimation marks and ahhhh, and hahahhas. lol!!!!! and lol. OMGGG. BFF!! LOVE U DEEP DEEP!!! I DINT GET ENOUGH HUGS YESTERDAY.. ): ROOOMIE!!!! MISS YOU SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH !!!!!!!!!!

2009-11-14T08:34:00.000-08:00

sighh.....
unrequited er, not love but i don't know what. HAHAH
and I still couldn't quite figure out what was the factor of attraction.. hmmms.
whyyyyy......

I'm just rambling for the sake of 2 people owight?!??! pls start feeling honoured. LOL
and roomie i love you too!! cant wait for movie marathon!! hahaha!
and i thought i'll meet you today my wife!! its been how long since we last met!?!?!??! like 100 years?? yi ri bu jian ge san qiu??? lol. forgot how its used alrdy. but i hope u understood that line! LOL!! but i think not. I MISS YOU BIGGIE TIME. hoping for the best for ur As yeahh!! so u can come NTU too!!! oh and BUIN! can u pls link urself and tag me?!?!?!? ^^ (lol. link yourself and tag me sounds like some orientation game. HAHAHAH) =>>> sorry about the self amusement. i think i can set up my own amusement park tt no one else will find fun except ME! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok, self amusement got me a little high, but i still don't know what wrong i'm feeling right now, so i decide i shld go sleep soooon

2009-10-16T13:44:00.000-07:00

I DECLARE MYSELF UNPROFICIENT IN ENGLISH.

I feel remorse when i look back at my past blog entries.
It speaks of incoherence and bad english.
grossed out, i seriously needa attend language classes eh.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.. and Tanzania is driving me mad!!
the deadline is pressing, but im still at 0/2500
EXCRETA!!!!!!

2009-10-08T04:19:00.000-07:00

its surprising how i feel like blogging now. Especially when i was trying sooo hard to produce that 1200 words essay. dosent' seem like alot for me last time I suppose. Guess I lost touch of Lit, or rather writing in General. OH well, this is the first individual assignment i've done since school started. And I would say it is pure mental exhaustion. Constantly looking at the word count and wonder " oh god, when is this gonna end?!?!" Used to love poems, not like i don't now, but not at the moment. it kinda scares me right now. hahahaha. cause i had been staring at the lines, over and over , over and over, trying to churn out something original. It was i would say, something quite original, since my puny brain work a different way from the others. somewhat twisted. HAHAH. Poem was the section where we usually score in school thanks to benevolent Mrs Teo, yes we all love her! Especially after receving Othelo and King Lear essays, I always feel like going over to Mrs Teo and give her a warm hug for the encouragement she gives in her marking.

Many more assignments to go! Can foresee more nerve wrecking sleepless nights. oh sigh oh sigh. My nose is still leaking perpetually. Keep sneezing i keep keep sneezing phglem. okay. that was a really bad attempt. HAHAHAHA. woops.
Here I am, looking damn cui, in my comfy teddy print PJ that my roomie dared me to wear out and parade at my block with the hall queen sash. ( no of course i did not. )but the thought of it was freaking hilarious. HAHAHAHAA!!!!!!!! i feel so cui.......
a little hungry, but no appetite and got no idea what to eat. Getting reall sick of fish soup already. its been just soup, soup and soup lately. wheres my oreo cheese cake??!!!! Thanks to Mr Poh and seohying, who has been constantly talking about food. i have many many cravings. LOL. like moist chocolate fudge cake and oreo cheese cake, oh dear, mega fattening!!!!! The food machines NEVER fail to bring up food in the conversation.

on a serious note, i've been reflecting a little, thinking a little....
about regrets. It seemed that we often do not treasure the things and people arouund us. we take things for granted, and we start to feel the pinch only when we find that, hey, its no longer around... they're no longer around... and we start to think of the what-might-have-beens, but its all too late isn't it?? we needa open up our eyes and see, oh no ,that wouldn't be enough, open up your eyes and feel for yourself, what we need to treasure, and appreciate them.

I'm somewhat passive. ok, quite passive, I realised. Inferiority complex still kicks in, every single time. I'm a walking contradition, thinking a step a head, and end up not doing anything due to fear. Perhaps i really need that pill; the confidence booster that i know, will not fail.

I feel my nature degradating somehow, after writing my essay. i condemn and critique, but i belong to the human race that i often criticise. We bastardise each other yes, and me myself, I'm part of this debasement. People may look prettier, but in fact, with each time of obsession and narcissism, we forget what others may need from us, and we turn into egoistic freaks who see no one but themselves. [did i go too far off again? ]

she sings a solitary song.
reaching out to the place where she belong.
The coarse voice is calling out,
gradually turned into shouts.

Yet no one hears any sound.
from that little girl who crouched.
pale cold white fingers,
that willed to be held.

yet no one was there to save her.
the door remained shut.
who remembered that little girl?
i think she never returned.

Yet no one bothers to search,
whatever shes left behind.
no ones got any idea what lurked.
what went through her mind.

Into the dark,
alone she was sent.
like a mail,
with no address

Home.

2009-09-11T05:05:00.001-07:00

Found my background a little too emo.
Change of colours!!! hope it changes my mood as well.
chionging starts later!!!!
time flies by like the snitch. and i'm no harry potter.
So i'm gonna find back the momentum and chase after lost time yeah.
just woke up if you notice the incoherrence in my rambling.
only reached home at bout 4 plus, had lunch, washed up abit and i flopped on my bed and died.
yupp. gonna dive in again to charge a little more before i start on work!!
weehee. love my bed totally (: the bed at hall gives me backaches everytime......
and not to mention insomnia. been tossing and turning for the past few nights.
despite turning in at bout 3am I still find myself inching about and gasping for air.
My sinus aint helping me breathe better.....i need my aircon (oh dear, i sound like a B.I.M.B.O! )

HTHT quite a bit with seohying. (: we're really quite similar in some ways. we'll really get sick of each other by the end of sem 1. HAHAHAHA.
Adm is an amazing place at night ! Jupitor was damn clearrrrr.... the moon turned red. don't think its the right way to see it but, it turned oranged literally. seeing is believing, in a way?

been on an emotional rollercoaster, didn't feel quite nice..
still a hollow shell..
neither here nor there.....
i don't understand myself at all.......
Wheres the bird girl?? perhaps, the epiphany will come soon?

Running towards death

2009-08-28T21:26:00.001-07:00

Eyes closed, we cry, bloody.

we crawl and beg, waiting to be fed.

the race is started, rampage begins.

run, run, run, run.

are we all caught in a trance?

the frenzy, it turns us ugly.

angels to demons, all too depressing.

run, run, run, run.

oh I see some casualties.

who’s there with the first aid kit?

please someone stop the bleed.

the destination, we’ve finally reached,

Eyes closed, we cry, bloody.

MY DARLINGGS….

2009-08-22T22:05:00.001-07:00

man, grey skies land me in emo mode.

miss all my darlings……

BFF BUIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its been a thousand light years since I last saw you!!!!!! I want my HUGGGGGG!!!!!! *sobs*

SLOTH!!!!! lunch has yet to materialize!!! so hard to get 4 of us together!!! X|

Just met up with the girls and some 4I guys yesterday!! now that i’ve shifted to the other corner of the island im excluded from weekday night activities!! but not like i can join them even when i’m in my own crib. house rules are still pretty stringent on me.

oh oh! brb if i can, seems like most pple are dropping their elecs now!!!!!!!!! Ja~

RESURRECTION.

2009-08-14T07:42:00.001-07:00

Let me inject a little bit of life in here. HAHAHA. I feel damn sad for my blog luh!!! its completely non-existent already.

I’m back to school. Full fledged student now!! Tendered resignation as a full time parasite, finally.

Been through HSS camp and Hall Camp. And Sorry to CAC and my dad, who allowed me to shred the 50 Dollar bill so that I could rejuvenate and avoid another fright night. Didn’t got for the Hall camp’s one either , thankfully. If not Faiz would have had a very very bad time. HAHAH. HALL CAMP WAS GREAT! ^_^ met very nice but HUMSUP(just the girls, trust me) people. Came back home yesterday night, and the journey was really really really long……… but i slept more than half the time, so before i knew it, i was home. Was feeling damn cold in my house tee and FBT thanks to air-con and on top of that i was running a 38.8 degrees fever that day. Couldn’t join in BBALL but managed to catch up with Manda! Toured around NIE to search for her locker. So we managed to talk a little (: Its been Eons since i met Elaine. Faith and I are bounded together for a few more years. hahaha. SORRY FAITH! Don’t get too bored of me. HAHAHAH.

Was just hearing my past singing before i attended lessons, hahah, kinda different now i guess. last time was purely bad imitation. lol. now, perhaps a little more stable?? but the sweetness in the voice is gone… ): now i sound like some coarse haggard ah ma singing. LOL! okay, bad description. HAHAHA, long awaited K session is finally here! kinda sian to scramble back to the other corner of the Island. but well, Singapore is really tiny on the map, so lets just try not to complain about travelling. (yeah right, theres a reason why I’m paying 160 a mth.) okay . digressiondigressiondigression, guess its just me, easily distracted!! hahaha.

Oh well, that was just an attempt to revive my blog that was thirsty and starved for some form of literature. Updates on my life will be on FB anyway. hehs.

OH. TAKE NOTE!! I’VE

CHANGED MY

NUMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SO IF YOU HAVENT TAKEN

IT DOWN OR HAVE YET TO

RECEIVED ANY FORM OF

NOTIFICATION, DROP ME

A MESSAGE (:

Being present don't signify one's presence.

2009-06-12T10:54:00.000-07:00

As I was pondering if I should attend the common class gathering, my gastric did not stop reminding me that i should eat more regularly. Nor did my mum forget to cough a few times to remind me as well, that she is STILL sick. Though, I am definitely sure it is no where as bad as the ruckus she raked up in my mind when she told me she couldn't even make it to the toilet that is just 2 steps away from her bed. My close friends would perhaps know a little of her condition and how needy she can get, but this morning, it really felt quite bad. And later on, while she got better with some catching up with sleep, i was squeezing out air reluctantly with constant hiccups from my gastric disorders. It has been quite some time since i experienced this kind of gastric discomfort already, and after hearing of Faith's sudden attack on the gastrics, mine came along, poking me in the ribs, telling me "pay me some freakin attention!". No, i'm definitely not as needy as my mum, and i always try to avoid the clinic. it seems like a forbidden word in my dictionary, with red neon light flashing in this 6-letter term. I would tell myself "it will go away with time and good rest" and ignore the usual persuasions to visit the doctor. No, no, I wouldn't give in.

Don't know if Faith went to the airport on her own, since she didn't reply my text. but well, morning was chaotic, the constant hiccuping and mopping the floor at the same time drained up alot of my energy. Brunch came at about 11:15 and lunch at 3pm , irregular yet routine for my family most of the time. Sunk in my swivel chair and started Naruto-ing right after brunch. Naruto, though as stupid as it sounds, is actually one of the best anime i would say. I wasn't all that into the action initially but I got captivated with the many stories, emotions and values behind all these drawings. For those who used to despise this Anime at its name (like what i used to do) , i beg you to difer. watch the first few episodes and boy, i'm pretty sure you'll be engaged in a marathon like me. [its 2:15 now! and my eyelids are nowhere near 500g !the insomnia drones on... ]

If you were wondering, the first 2 paragraphs didn't seem to go into picture with the header. Its a line I had been pondering for today, regarding the class gathering at night that was supposed to be a belated celebratory dinner for Jervis. Don't get me wrong, theres nothing wrong with the people, really. i see them as hot blooded youths, that cant help but amuse me in their very own unique ways. We had known each other since Secondary 1 for some and for others along the way through my secondary school life. They were my Secondary 3 and 4 classmates, a group of people that walked through my youthful days. I was nothing more than a tiny olive off this foot long wich. The tiny olive, branded under the "standard veg", little in quantity and pretty bland, not very pleasing to the eye, but is there because its part of the "standard" . Something that people would neglect or forget if it werent part of the sandwich. Whereas, the angry customer will complain if one day, the sandwich has its turkey breasts missing, or when the ham is not there. People care more about the main gists of the whole thing, the more bizzare ones, the louder ones. who gives any shit about the left out olives or pickles? all they probably need, is the meat of the lunch, and some standard vege to along with.

Therefore, the olive wonder, if its needed, why does it try to be part of the sandwich, when in the end, it don't matter at all. At the same time, it could be hidden within the lettuce. snuggling tight and safe in the comfort zone, with its mild taste, trying to blend into the overpowering meaty bite. It is all too hard on the olive. Maybe, one day, the olive will simply be eradicated off the menu. to cut cost they say. since being present didn't really signify its very own presence and participation. In case you're thinking in your mind, oh dear, Eileen is craving for subway right now. let me remind my dear friends that i can count the number of times i dine there with my bare hands.

time check, its 2:39, i bet the tea/coffee is on night shift now, and it will claim its pay tomorrow, with my unstoppable yawns and teary eyes. Its been so long since i actually sat down and type. so consider this "trying-to-get-to-sleep-by-killing-some-kinetic and brain cells" period, a time to refresh, and get myself back on touch with writing. Something that I had not done, other than annotating my music scores every sunday. I should at least make the effort to blog everyday with the amount of free time i have on hand shouldn't i ? or at least some pre-study would help my pursue of language perhaps a little less taxing. maybe just that teeney weeney, but up till date, the books my beloved brother gladly shoved me are still untouched and waiting to be discovered.

Its getting late. the WEEEEE hours, i should attempt fighting the adrenaline pumping from the caffine i took in a few hours ago and get to sleep. so long, whoever that reads my blog. i'll put my laptop to sleep, and try to get a few winks on my own. nightey nights! i'll be back tomorrow, i hope (:

Unemployed again.

2009-06-11T21:13:00.001-07:00

out of job again. cash is running low. i NEED a job. however. with such little time left on hand, there isnt much choices, or rather, there isnt any, when i see (Min 3 mth/6 mth contracts) . got pretty frustrated. especially with my needy mum’s constant nagging and laments. she tries to sound like she understand, and compare her nowhere similar situations with mine, and complaining that we get more money than her, where in fact, i don’t see how she gets to spend them anyway. oh, and good point she made, saying that we do less work at home than her. amazing how she can manage to even say it so blatantly. my gastrics is working up again…… urgh.

Employed, Finally.

2009-05-10T08:27:00.001-07:00

Its been a while, as usual. Firstly, today’s the 10th May, Happy Mother’s Day. The day is gonna end perhaps at my very last few lines of this post. Anyway, yes, like what my title informs, I’m employed. Many thanks to Sembawang music who took a risk and hired someone with apparently zero experience especially in the service sector. People at work are pretty nice, taught me a lot. From stock taking to cashiering. Even learnt how to record the settlement of the day. It is not a job to be despised, the service sector require not only a positive attitude, but also knowledge of the specific field you are required at. This is my first “stable” job, so you can imagine the pay i’m getting. Its really, skimpy, a mere 1K a month, and not to neglect the fact that CPF has not been deducted yet. All in all, the pay is really pathetic for the amount of work i do. sobs sobs sobs. there are many stories at work i’d love to share if not for the newly constituted rule for me; Lights out at 2330, apparently worse than the NS men I suppose. If you’re wondering who in the world imposed this on a nineteen year old, the answer is right at the top of my post.

For now , Ciao.

sweet dreams.

Dead, Alive and Dead again…

2009-04-24T22:09:00.001-07:00

The red glove pumps its fist, with momentum and rhythm like a death march. Dull, solemn and lifeless.

That is, if you put my current lifestyle on a chart… It will be a stream line with occasional flickers and inclining gradients, and nothing else. My life monitor, constantly reminding me to keep it up and beating again… To no avail, though.

Forgot the last time I blogged properly, simply because there is nothing going on. Nothing worth of mention. Oh, my bulb flickered up there, reminding me I should at least bring up the passion in my life, Singing. I forgot when I started minding, started thinking about every note I sing and being conscious of it, not to let it go OFF. In addition to my big fat blank on my romance page, I hear, I see , I feel no soul in my voice. Perhaps just an empty imitation that is not even up to mark. My emotions, once so overpowering and overbearing, nest on a funnel. Draining away, seep, trickle , gone.

Ok, back to the monotonous tune, (This reminds me of “Past Midnight” , and why do I bring up Boey?!) Having a tuition session for the first time in my entire life of approximately 18 and a half years, as a teacher instead of the previous salutation I had bore for another half of my life. Woops, did it go too serious? FYI, I am just doing a relief job for 2 lessons through Elaine’s recommendation. THANKS GIRL! . OWE YOU ONE. BUT, I do hope I wouldn’t be out to disgrace anyone. After all, this is my virgin attempt, and still has no idea what i’ll be doing. When I told my mum i’ll be helping out in English, she shot me the very dubious “are-you-serious” look and quickly reminded me of the pain of getting an E for the damned general paper. Oh well , I don’t know. I doubt myself most of the time, and still am waiting for that confident side of me to emerge . Maybe its just crouching in one corner, locked and chained up , awaiting for the right epiphany. MAYBE?

Loveless

2009-03-28T00:57:00.001-07:00

Prologue

When the war of the beasts brings about the world’s end
The goddess descends from the sky
Wings of light and dark spread afar
She guides us to bliss, her gift everlasting

Act I
Infinite in mystery is the gift of the goddess
We seek it thus, and take to the sky
Ripples form on the water’s surface
The wandering soul knows no rest.

Act II

There is no hate, only joy
For you are beloved by the goddess
Hero of the dawn, Healer of worlds

Dreams of the morrow hath the shattered soul
Pride is lost
Wings stripped away, the end is nigh

Act III
My friend, do you fly away now?
To a world that abhors you and I?
All that awaits you is a somber morrow
No matter where the winds may blow

My friend, your desire
Is the bringer of life, the gift of the goddess

Even if the morrow is barren of promises
Nothing shall forestall my return

Act IV
My friend, the fates are cruel
There are no dreams, no honor remains
The arrow has left the bow of the goddess

My soul, corrupted by vengeance
Hath endured torment, to find the end of the journey
In my own salvation
And your eternal slumber

Legend shall speak
Of sacrifice at world’s end
The wind sails over the water’s surface
Quietly, but surely

Act V
Even if the morrow is barren of promises
Nothing shall forestall my return
To become the dew that quenches the land
To spare the sands, the seas, the skies
I offer thee this silent sacrifice

Interesting poem . After completing Crisis Core, fragments of this poem still echoes in my head.. Hmmm, wouldn’t it be interesting if schools test on this?! heh…

Confessions of the drama queen!

2009-03-18T05:53:00.001-07:00

Do not be mistaken, I’m not implying that my life will take a turn to some screen-play or anything like that..

BUT, the number of dramas I’ve watched over this holidays is freaking way too many!! I can top the “No. Of Videos Watched” chart already.

Now on my final 2 episodes for Star Lit. The protagonist’s illness has deteriorated, death smells near…… sigh… I’m a sucker for these kinda shows… and after so many tear jerkers and dramas, I’ve learnt to control my “tap” more. hahah. I wouldn’t cry over little little things now. HEH!!! Oh, now it reminds me, Jerry Yan can really act well!! hahah, his acting skills indeed improved alot… At least, hes not just a vase (:

SECRET CODE!!!!!!!!!! HMV better be quick!!!!

I’m singing less and less I realised… Its become something serious, like an everyday assessment, rather than an interest or habit that i used to have…Its getting tiring and stressful…
That passion I used to have, i gotta retrieve it, hold it tightly and not let go… again.

Best Bolero Perf so far…

2009-03-03T04:33:00.001-08:00

omg, almost perfect pitch for all!!!!!!!!

screams in awe…!!!!!!

how can anyone not like them?! or at least their singing.

LOL. woops. the egoistical fan here just cant stop bragging about their awesome-ness!!!!!!!

i had insomnia again!!! sigh.. couldnt sleep till about 4!

anxiety….. due to friday and sunday.. ahhhh… twice the stress..

somehow i think theres higher chance of me getting thru semi den getting a BBC and above… sigh, so you can imagine how hopeless i feel despite faith’s good feeling about Eileen-doing-well…

downloading audition right now! or should i say re-downloading… since it hanged on me at its 99th% . meanwhile, i’m just gonna bask in the wonders of dbsk’s voices!!! i gotta admit that yunho’s voice improved alrdy! or rather, his pitching improved. (: yay!! and Junsu has many many solo parts in Bolero!!!!!! woohoo!!! and micky’s high notes totally send me goosebumps!!!!!!!!!! LOVELINESS!

2009-03-01T21:22:00.001-08:00

怎样才能不怕黑夜

怎样才能避免崩溃

放吧，叫我怎么放吧。。

不要再继续拉扯，

已断掉的思念

因为曾经担却

而让彼此不再留言

一辈子就只能暧昧。

停留在灰色边缘。

2009-02-26T01:01:00.001-08:00

鑑定結果

您的精神年齡36歲

與您實際年齡差18歲

幼稚度56％

成熟度64％

老化度47％

Take the test: http://hyc.myweb.hinet.net/year/year.htm

2009-02-18T04:04:00.001-08:00

原本已为已失去的感动，似乎，回来了。。

是脆弱的表现吗？还是，已被冻结的心，想再次寻找没感受过的温暖？

之前，我又是在期待什么？

我没有资格吧。。？

2009-02-13T20:53:00.001-08:00

镇懊恼，灵感总是在没有防备之下，闯进脑海。

而因为这样，一切一切都无法留下痕迹，留下片刻的记忆。

遗憾？也不算。。

我，失声了。。。

状态超不好。。

明天又是vocal lesson.还得独唱勒！完蛋了。。。

闷闷闷，就快要变身为王非唱“闷”了。。

阿。。。我的俊秀今天是怎么过的呢？

2009-02-13T18:53:00.000-08:00

情人节。。。快乐，吗？

Baek Ji Young - Like Being Hit By A Bullet

2009-02-13T04:59:00.001-08:00

hooked on this song, now i know why its been champing on Music Bank.

[MV] Baek Ji Young - Like Being Hit By A Bullet
Lyrics credits to Nautiljon.
Chong majeun geotcheoreom
Jeongsini neomu eobseo
Useunmman nawaseo
Geunyang useosseo... Geunyang useosseo
Geunyang...
Heotalhage seumyeo
Hanaman mutja haesseo
Uri wae heeojyeo
Eotteoke heeojeo... Eotteoke heeojeo
Eotteoke...
Gumeongnan gaseume uri
Chueogi heulleo neomchyeo
Jababoryeo haedo
Gaseumeul magado
Songarak sairo ppajyeonaga
Simjangi meomchwodo ireoke
Apeul geot gatjin anha
Eotteoke jome haejwo
Nal jom chiryohaejwo
Ireoda nae gaseum da manggajyeo
Gumeognan gaseumi
Eoneusaa nunmuri
Nado moreuge heulleo
Ireogi sirheunde
Jeongmal sirheunde... Jeongmal sirheunde
Jeongmal...
Ireoseoneun neol ttara
Mujakjeong jjocha gasseo
Domangchideut geotneun
Neoui dwieseo... Neoui dwieseo
Sorichyeosseo
Gumeongnan gaseume uri
Chueogi heulleo neomchyeo
Jababoryeo haedo
Gaseumeul magado
Songarak sairo ppajyeonaga
Simjangi meomchwodo ireoke
Apeul geot gatjin anha
Eotteoke jome haejwo
Nal jom chiryohaejwo
Ireoda nae gaseum da manggajyeo
Chong majeun geotcheoreom... Jeongmal
Gaseumi neomu apa
Ireoke apeunde... Ireoke apeunde
Sal suga itdaneu ge isanghae
Eotteoke neoreul ijeo naega
Geureoin geon naneun molla... Molla
Gaseumi ppeongtturlyeo
Chaeul su eobseoseo
Jugeul mankeum apeugiman hae
Chong majeun geotcheoreom...

ENGLISH TRANSLATION Credits to Shinji.
Like being hit by a bullet
I cant make sense of anything
All that comes out is laughter
So I just laughed,
So I just laughed,
Just..
While Im laughing until I collapse
I asked if I could ask one thing
Why are we breaking up?
How do we break up?
How do we break up?
How?
In this bruised chest,
Our memories are overflowing
Even though I try hold onto them,
Even if I block my chest,
They all slip though my fingers
Even if my heart stops,
Just like this,
I dont think it will hurt,
Please do something
Give me some treatment
If I keep going like this,
All I will get is a broken heart
In this bruised chest..
Soon, without me even realizing,
Tears stream down my face
I dont want to be like this,
I really dont want to,
I really dont want to,
Really..
I follow after you, who stood up so rashly and left,
Youre running away,
From behind you,
From behind you,
I scream..
In this bruised chest,
Our memories are overflowing
Even though I try hold onto them,
Even if I block my chest,
They all slip though my fingers
Even if my heart stops,
Just like this,
I dont think it will hurt,
Please do something
Give me some treatment
If I keep going like this,
All I will get is a broken heart
Like being hit by a bullet
Really..
My heart hurts so much
It hurts so much,
It hurts so much,
Thats weird I can still live.
How can I forget you?
Me?
I dont know how to do such things..
I dont know..
My heart is awake and I cant put it to sleep,
All it does is hurt so much I feel like dying,
Like being hit by a bullet...

Korean Entertainment Gossips

2009-02-11T05:03:00.001-08:00

I’m currently reading ShenYuePop’s blog and found it amusing to a large extent. I like his/her style of writing. AND, it really opened my eyes and look into how SNSD is actually like. First time seeing comments by the so-called “haters”, and there is actually an international anti SNSD club. WOW. hahaha. Plus, all i got from taeyeon was an impression of her being more natural and less “trying-to-act-cute” and lastly her singing that impressed me. Been thinking that SNSD was just a bunch of vase, but i’ve got to disagree with that, since, i’ve actually seen good singing on Taeyeon’s part. The industry is filled with so much darkness, such that these celebs have no choice but to lose themselves.. sigh, just hope that some day, we’ll have a natural and real portrayal of celebs, and not just a facade to gain fans, and buy their way through the market. Oh dear…what a world we live in…

2009-02-06T20:35:00.001-08:00

Choir steamboat yesterday! (:

at my very humble abode.

nothing fanciful, just a little, warm , get-together.

As usual, my mum’s very hospitable, and…. hmmm, concerned?

hahaha, those who’ve been to my house would know how much my mum loves to serve guests.

and thanks angela for missing my house (: POP BY SOON, its always open for you yeah???!!!! JIAYOUSSSSSSS………

‘ve been basking in my aimless life…

Bohemianism’s been my ideology during my first three mths period, and now, i’m back to that way of living…

strictly speaking, i wouldn’t label myself a bohemian utterly, or you’ll see me lurking around Holland V, basking in the artistic vigour. okay, those 2 words won’t really come well together, but who would not agree that you will indeed see those kinda vigour in artists. heh, okay, i should stop digressing. Familial pressures are somewhat worse than work, and many times i’ve tried to put in the effort to get a job ( faith don’t mock me! hahahs) BUT, okay, i admit. LAZINESS is my current vice….. and, DRAMAS are my accomplices. woops.

A level’s results are coming. YES, its COMING SOON…

inevitable, excruciating, terrifying.INHALE EXHALE INHALE EXHALE.

my dreams are mocking me. oh sigh, its like harder than getting 7 As please. LOL.

Alright, back to my drama (:

Endless Love

2009-01-24T04:50:00.001-08:00

hooked on Endless love! originally by Mariah Carey.. but i heard the fanbi couple’s version and fell in love with it!! hahaha.

CNY is coming!!!!! woohoo!!!! which also happens to be my Bro’s birthday…

current playlist : War of the In-Laws 2

Current entertainment : Pet society! LOL

I’m gonna sing with you our duet.

HOT!!!!!! photo of the week (:

2009-01-23T07:14:00.001-08:00

IT IS SO UNFAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!

My brother’s friend knows Junsu’s father!!!!!!!!!! ARGH..

just because shes a rich girl.. =/ sighs…

My only wish is, not to know him, BUT! to sing with him!!!!!!!!!

i will leave this world without any regrets. hahaa.

WELL. i’ve got a longggg way to go to reach SM…

hahaha. long way may simply be equivalent to INFINITE…..

AHHHH .

and i couldn’t get my red sweater and white top for my bro. =/

unsatisfying shopping trip, BUT!!! a definitely worth while one, thanks to the 3 very pretty girls! hahaha. MEET UP on FRIDAY!!!!! REUNION DINNERRRRR…. =DDD

Buin! if u’re reading this…. JIAYOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-01-20T23:28:00.000-08:00

go hanja!!!!! =DD i'm picking up really fast =DD

26th Jan (:

Clark Quay 18 Jan 09

2009-01-20T07:42:00.000-08:00

Here you go girls!
I'm gonna take these gross pics down after a week!!!!! so pls grab it ASAP!! lol.
loads and loads of blur pics, pardon them... and the vid is on youtube!!! =DD will be up on my blog soon! (:

2009-01-19T07:56:00.000-08:00

yad gor loei yan, yew ge hai nlam yan zan xam zan yi gom dui dai hoei.
yew ge, ji bud gor hai on qun gam... tong mai zhuei zhong yew ge hai xam leng xiong tung... ji dou doei fung lam gam mud ye.........
dan hai gom gei bun gei yew kau....zan hai hou gan lan wan...
seng ji, yaw di yan, gam sai dou wan mm dou....
zan hai hou hei mong.... gor tin.. wui fai di bei ongh wan dou...
xam leng xiong tung gor gor yan...

flightless bird

2009-01-11T07:58:00.000-08:00

Jac introed me this song and i love it.
introing to u guys now.

sigh, still pmsing... BADDDDDD cramps..
and especially after all those drinks..
and if you're not a fan of vegetable juice, DON'T get Bloody mary.
it was Bloody gross. thank god i decided to stick to jack daniels.
and there was a reallyyyyyy hot/cute guy opp our table. hahah. this is kinda out of the blue but his face popped into my memory cause i saw him while ordering my drink.
he looked like a korean. The Daniel Henney kind?? but anyway. had a great time at Glass House. The Eric guy was nice (: food was not bad. and the desset i ate was amazing. omg. i miss the taste!!!!!!! i forgot the name of the dessert, but its an eggless custard with raspberry sauce. it was OMG... just thinking of it brighten me up alrdy...

today's first lesson was theory. its alternating lessons, theory and vocal.
today's lesson was pretty boring, cause it was all we learnt in choir, crescendo , decrescendo and stuffs. rhythm.. blah blah blah.....

okie.. i hate it when im pmsing and my mum nagging beside me..
urgh. alright, shall go away and hug my bears to sleep.

ADORABLE BABIES!!!

2009-01-08T06:46:00.000-08:00

CHECK OUT THESE DARLINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You'll find one at my place 10 years later (:

http://www.adorablepoodles.net/puppiessold.htm

Ox year! come quick!

2009-01-07T06:35:00.000-08:00

SIGH......
unlucky unlucky day...
though work was fine, however the journey home wasnt..
sprained my ankle at the very last step of the overhead bridge..
felt fine and i walked down to MacRitchie Resirvoir ..
took 156... and walked back home from CP....
and still ran across the road in 9 seconds...
all in the white pair of heels..
HOWEVER...started to feel the pain when i got home..
woke up in the middle of the night out of pain...
realised i gotta tell my parents. hahaha
( dint want the to make a fuss out of it, so i didnt want to tell them)
ended up... i was swivel chair bound until i went to Adelphi to get my bone back in place...
going back to work tmr.. jeffrey was nice enough. hahaha.
yep yep. hope theres no more mishaps..!!!!!!

looking forward to Sunday...
Orientation for LWSSOM ...
cant wait (:
but i think my vocals will be really tired out..
Mon - Sat : validation/interviewing.
San : Singing..

hahaha. all 7 days, it will be fully utilized. Poor thing..

aight. getting back to my Boys before flowers! hahahha
its the girl from 19 sui de qing chun and HYUNJOONG!!! =DDD Ep 1 with subs are out on mysoju (:

TWOooNINE

2009-01-01T06:33:00.000-08:00

started off the day well..found out I've shed 2Kg!!!!! hahaha.
still not my ideal weight. working out and eating healthy really works!!!!
Jap trip changed me into a veggie person. SURPRISE!! Eileen's actually eating greens!!!!!! guess there'll be more changes along the wayyyy... heh.

I always start my year off with astro readings (:

As year starts, this will be a major initiative for your romantic and creative life, dear Libra. Your romantic energies would see definite changes this year. This would be quite creative year for you. A total eclipse in your fifth house of Libra will occur on January 26 and may forever change the course of love life. This will also be a new moon, so a whole new reality is emerging.

If you are single and wondering when (if ever) you’d meet someone who could get your pulse racing, the answer is: this year! New moons always open doors, although at a total eclipse of the Sun you may be asked create a space for that new meeting or opportunity.

This eclipse on January 26 is supporting you in big way. Follow your heart, no matter what others tell you to do, for it is sure to lead you to precisely the right place. With Jupiter also in your fifth house whole year, many of you would be getting new lease of life this year. This opportunity you are getting once in twelve years.

(Looks like this year will be a good one ^.^ , 2008 was one of the worst years and i got through ! hey ho hey!! )

If you were born during 15 to 27 date range in Libra, then this year would be more about many new initiatives. Most of new moons and solar eclipses are happening in your part. Among them major are romantic and creative initiative in first half of the year and social and career initiative in second half of the year.

2008-12-30T21:05:00.000-08:00

2009 is coming!!!!!
New year wishes!!!!!!!!

1) Get into a local U!!
2) To do up a proper port folio!!
3) Improve on my singing and build up confidence!!!!
4) For all family , friends and myself to be healthy and happy!!!!!!!
5) To meet my Mr. Right!!!! =D

Top 5 wishes for next year... haiz.. all feels damn hard.
GAMBATTE!!!!!!!
HWAITING!!!!
JIAYOU!!!!

Drawing is really harder than i thought.
And me being perfectionist is not helping.....
ahhhh. i think theres gonna be a hole in my sketch soon.
just drawing the croquis is a chore...
practice practice practice!!!!!!!!!!!!

And Yay!!! i got a job!!!
hahaha. details not very clear..
but at least i get experience in the media field..
BUT, my job is to interview people. not exactly doing media stuffs. yeahh
Renumeration , pay, i've gt no idea........... i didnt menton much about the pay in my mail. or rather i DID NOT at all.. was just hoping to get something to do in mediacorp. experience comes first.

OH! and here are the pics for 5.1/6.2 gathering!!

2008-12-29T06:56:00.000-08:00

2008年就快要画下休止符了。。
一切画面就这样一幕一幕的闪过。。
但当下的情感，却不一样了。。

道路上，又碰到了分叉口。
一起开始的旅程。。。
但始终要分开。。
又要一切归零，又是一个人，
重新来过。
太多不肯定，太多不确定，
甚至太多孤寂。
但这不就是人生，平凡的华丽
喧闹的孤寂。

2008-12-27T20:28:00.000-08:00

woops! sorry bout the wrong info!!!!
No Taeyeon!! But YUNJI!!!!!!!!
hehe. i liked her too!!!!!!!
since Goong and esp after 19岁的青春.
hahaha. woops. GTG!!!! BE back soon..........

really tired from the gatherings alrdy..
and im going out again..................................

2008-12-23T06:08:00.001-08:00

OMG......... check this out...
CANT WAIT!!!!!
Don't know if its just Kangin actually,
but heard that taeyeon and him will be together in WGM.
hahahaa, hmmmmm.. Wht about Junsu?????? LOL.
and Suju on WGM may mean special appearances of DBSK and SuJu!!!! WOOOHOO
and i officiall like Taeyeon!!!!!!!! =DDDDD
KangIn's one of my fav in Suju also... YAYNESS!!

Lettuce Couple actually went on Xman together before!!! OMG... hahahhaa . Did they rmb!??!?1

HELLO!!!!!!!!

2008-12-22T08:30:00.000-08:00

Been back for quite some time alrdy..
Organizing my photos and putting them into vids..
Too much pictures to put them on this blog. hahhaa.
So, there you go... my trip, though no 100% of it, but most.. Heh..

2008-12-09T19:04:00.000-08:00

wow, i finished Miss no good !!! Started yesterday night! finished few mins ago. LOL. leaving soon...... hmmm.. shinjuku today??? Y(^.^)Y visited loads of places alrdy ... left with...Enoshima, Yokohama, Asakusa, Harajuku..... hmmm... shld be all?? hahaa. time flies.............

2008-12-06T06:56:00.000-08:00

12:02am
back from singing K in japan, went to yokohama today to meet my cousins friend.
a different form of freedom, but another form of restriction.
saw the ferris wheel just now, gonna take it soon..
shld be going to the shopping district tmr.. things are all very expensive here.......
ahhhh... but the food are so nice, i doubt ill lose weight! hmmm...... getting really cold.. okie. be back soon....

only lonely?

2008-11-28T06:46:00.000-08:00

oh dear.... loneliness? is that what i'm experiencing??? :(

2008-11-26T19:45:00.000-08:00

ok....... this holiay suck .. i dunno what i've been doing... time could have been better spent.
time should have been treasured..
rather than being spent on lamenting, pondering and arguing.
thinking generates more thoughts, more suspicion , more hatred.
if you want to, you can live happily .
or you can chose to read into words, read into nothing, and see something.
something ugly...ugliness comes only when u try too hard, trying too hard, hoping to find the flaws.
there is infinite flaws u can find , even in a crystal so clear...
urgh. i've got no idea wht im blabbering at this point of time.
so tired of all these. and this time round, i'm not saying its my fault anymore, because, from the very depths of my heart, i did not insult anyone but myself, nor did i expect these insults on MYSELF would occur to be insults to ANYONE ELSE BUT MYSELF.
this won't do, if it carries on, this over-sensitivity. now it may only cause some discordance or unhappiness with others. in the future, it will only hurt YOU, yourself. It will be a major problem if this is not overcome, seriously, it will only hurt you more. advice as your best friend, i don't wanna see you suffer, nor do i wanna rope in any other innocent people. i would say, this time round, i'm innocent as well. who wld have known wht i say about myself would hurt someone else... it all happened too fast... i hate conflicts, i seriously that word, even the sound of it, how ugly it sounds, how ugly it is , to see the letters placed together... i tried my best throughout my life, to prevent them from happening, it seems, no matter how hard i try, it wouldn't steer clear my path.. nor my attempts be seen, but only magnified each single conflict..... i never did raise my voice at friends, or if i did...sorry. but i hope i didn't and in my memory, i did not. i don't always have patience , even if it went down all the way to zero, i try not to show, cause i really really really detest conflicts. i try to accomodate, try to agree, just to prevent them , but it seems they just come knocking on my door unknowingly. for the innocent, i know it sucks, sorry, but i hope you know, i don't wish for them . even if i was hurt or unhappy by what others said or did, i didnt show it much, because i don't want any conflicts...........
i had enough of them since young, i had enough of childish fights since young . and i don't want them now.

the world's a landscape filled with landmines..
u step on it unknowingly... u hurt those around you,
those innocent souls... bury their souls for you.
because of one wrong step, without even knowing its wrong.

2008-11-26T06:06:00.000-08:00

이 황당한 세계는 진짜로 견딜수 없는다 경이롭 너무 많은 미개간 땅 및 오해.너무 많 이해하지 않았다.。너무 저것이라고 의 너무 조금 안락 넋두리하는.

2008-11-25T07:36:00.000-08:00

This is to those, who need strength, who fears pain, who fears fear....
its up to you, to face it, to grow stronger with it.

life is a lone walk.
a barefooted pilgrimage..
at times, u may brush through fine patches of grasses..
at times u may encounter pricking mimosas,
at time, you may even find yourself cut..
by thorns, pebbles and shatered glasses..
all these encounters; unexpected and inevitable.
maybe one day, at the end of the journey..
you look at your feet, akin to Park Ji-Sung.
tattered yet beautiful.
cause this pair of feet, had weathered through storms,
had battled the horns..
finally, you will no longer fear pain, nor see it with abhorrence.
but embrace these challenges, knowing that, you WILL tide over them,
only emerging stronger.

Don't say Goodbye

2008-11-23T20:14:00.001-08:00

omg..... this vid so made me wanna cry.
the song is amazing .
Don't say goodbye - DBSK

wow wow wow

2008-11-23T19:32:00.000-08:00

OMG.... effiel tower!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and Seobang's white-purple crystals from swarovaski!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
man........ if only i was a rich girl...

Oooo Chihuahua!!

2008-11-23T08:08:00.001-08:00

I am so gonna have a dog!!!!! Maltese/chihuahua/ and PINKY(Selina's pup) kinda dog
OMG... hahaha. i think i miss Miffin alrdy! hhaha. its my first time holding a dog and took a pic with it!! its with P.Shan now, will upload soon when i get it! (:

had a great time with my 3 girls today. FINALLY!!!!!! hahaha. really miss them so much ( aint no mountain high enough~ ) Thanks girls!!! for being part of my life and for the fun today! ^^ and YS for the really cute organizer . AND!!!! i found a Japan Subway map!!! hahaha. JUST IN TIME FOR MY TRIP!!!! KOMAWO!!! ( thanks )

AND , here are the photos ! finally, hehe, sorry for keeping u waiting (:

sigh oh sigh

2008-11-22T20:22:00.001-08:00

hmms, exams are over! why am i still sighing?!?!
one big fat reason. the MUM. okie, it feels bad to say "the"
alright. MY mum . yes...... its after exams, BUT, the restrictions she impose on me is just as bad as exams itself. everyone would probably expect this korean fanatic to hog on videos every single free minute. BUT, my mum is super opposed with his. AHHH.
i woke up, floor already mopped, nothing for us to do anymore she said " why do you wake up and watch videos!? " what does she want me to do then? mop the floor again???
and everytime i sit down and wanna watch something , she'll call out my name again, asking me to do stuffs.
even before exams end, everyday she says: "theres no reason to not do chores after your exams anymore , true enough..... BUT!! ITS AFTER EXAMS! I SHOULD BE SITTING DOWN, RELAXED, INDULGING IN MY SWEET LIBATION!! AHHH.

grrrr, FREEDOM will come, soon. for a short span of 2 weeks, after that, i'll be working and working.......so that i'll get paid for doing work, instead of staying, getting nagged at for doing and for not doing chores. seriously, no one will know the extent of frustration till u live with her for 18 years plus. GRRRRRRRR. off to meet siong at 1pm.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PEISHAN AND DOM!!!
SAENGCHUKAHAMIDAH!!!!!!!

DBSK 2008 - 2009 detailed schedule

2008-11-19T23:41:00.000-08:00

20th November - 29th Blue Dragon Film Awards (live on KBS2) - 7.25pm
21st November - SBS Closest Friends Notes (Junsu) broadcast - 10.55pm
21st November - KBS2 Music Bank - 6.35pm
22nd November - MBC show! Music Core broadcast - 3pm
22nd November - KBS1 Love Request at - 5.10pm
22nd November - SBS Inkigayo - 3.15pm
22nd November - Junsu+Yoochun+Changmin on SBS Star King (broadcast) - 6.30pm
23rd November - Changmin+Yunho on MBC Quiz to Change the World - 5.10pm
26th November - aNation 2008 DVD release
26th November - DBSK at Asia Song Festival on FUSE TV
29th November - SM Festival in Bangkok 2008
30th November - [JAP] NHK Music Japan TVXQ Special - 3.05pm

1st December - [JAP] Music Japan filming
2nd December - EILEEN OFF TO JAPAN!!!
4th December - [JAP] Music Japan broadcast
10th December - Mnet Golden Disk Awards 2008 - 7pm
15th December - XIAH Junsu’s birthday!
16th December - EILEEN BACK TO SINGAPORE
17th December - Japanese Mirotic CD + DVD release

hahah, it seems like they're gonna be in Japan while I'm there. fingers crossed , pray hard ^^

18th January - [JAP] Bigeast 3rd Fanmeet (Makuhari Fair Trade Event Hall)
20th January - [JAP] Bigeast 3rd Fanmeet (Fukuoka International Centre)
21st January - [JAP] Bigeast 3rd Fanmeet (Kobe Memorial World Hall)
25th January - [JAP] 25th Japanese Single release
26th January - HERO Jaejoong’s birthday!

A no. of things to look forward to.

NOVEMBER
TMR : OFFICIAL END OF A LEVELS + SLEEPOVER AT FAITH's!!!!!
22nd : Rotting , spring cleaning , preparation...
23rd : Shan's birthday + class outing + XIAH JUNSU's present (blanket making) at CityLink. ( which i cant go !!! *CRIES* )
24th : Job/Internship interview. Its gonna be the first interview in my life. Bringing with me some courage to battle the fear, and hopes for a new landscape for me to discover.
25th - 30th : NO PLANS at the MO. BOOK ME ASAP YEAH? =DD . Slotting in occasion trips to self grooming. blah blah blah, and some shopping trips with the girls. (: + Sentosa/Zoo waiting to be confirmed.

December
2nd to 16th in JAPAN. mysterious secret rendevous with DBSK?? =D *i wish*
17th to end - random nua-ing + occasional work here and there. + learning design techniques , prepare for portfolios and courses

January
Best thing to look forward to : POP VOCAL LESSONS!!!!!!!!
finally........ i feel closer to my dreams......
start of whatever internship i get. YUP.

i hope life gets more interesting?? Bohemenism is still my take, but due to financial constraints, hahhaha, i doubt life wld be as easy as my first 3 mths. heh. i'll devote all my time to my passion and craves, so 2009, will be driven mainly by passion and energy instead of boring mundane routines of mugging....

TADA ~ heres my life laid out, so far, so _____ . but who will know what comes in place ??? Finally, i'll be able to breathe new air!
GAMBARIMASU!

2008-11-18T00:17:00.001-08:00

the stage, the band, the music, the lights, the sweat, the voice, the cheers, the applause....

i cant stop singing, my heart's beating in pulses alrdy......
raise your voice, raise my voice, and lets get loud....

2008-11-17T05:24:00.000-08:00

konichiwa! counting down to Tokyo Holiday !!!!
2 Dec 08 - 16 Dec 08 , たから(so) , please refrain from texting/calling me during that period of time (:
will be on MSN here and there since i'll be staying with my cousin from 5 Dec 08
finally, a getaway..... an adventure. approximately 6 hours away from Singapore.
treading on new grounds that i've never had the chance to venture.
でも(but), A level's has yet to end, and i should really bear that in mind. hahha, already in the Holidaying/Nuaing mood. ( hm, was i ever in exam mood neway? ) YUPP. 21 DEC!!!!!!!! official liberation day..
many things to look forward to, so many things i wanna learn, wanna achieve and hope for to happen. just pray that things will work out, and dreams can be fulfilled.

DREAMS, ことができますか？
まえむき！！！！！！

SCHEDULE from 16 Nov

2008-11-16T08:28:00.000-08:00

16th November - Mega TV Super Concert at 5.30pm
Watch it LIVE here!
- SBS Inkigayo at 9am

22nd November - SBS Star King at 6:30p – 7:30pm
25th November - 2008 Bucheon World Intangible Cultural Heritage Expo "SUPER CONCERT"
26th November - "A-nation DVD" Release
29th November - SM Festival in Bangkok 2008
30th November - NHK "Music Japan TVXQ Special @ 3:10PM

DECEMBER

4th December - NHK Music Japan
10th December - 2008 Golden Disk Awards at 7:00pm on MNet
11th December - NHK Music Japan
18th December - NHK Music Japan
20th December - lollyribena(co-author) 's birthday!

JANUARY 2009!

18th January - [Japan] Bigeast 3rd Fanmeet (Makuhari Event Hall)
20th January - [Japan] Bigeast 3rd Fanmeet (Fukoka Even Hall)
21st January - [Japan] Bigeast 3rd Fanmeet (Kobe World Hall)

Translated by : jae!fany@ Shinki! Forums
Source: TVXQIple Page + 将爱myyunho.com + Mr. TVXQ
Credits: tvxq_luv @Shinki!Forums + KPOP JJANG + Never End + Mr. TVXQ + unetopaze @LJ + xietinloveshero

OMG.....if they do go to the NHK station in JAPAN, it means we'll be both in JAPAN around the same time.. OMG....... pray hard for me....

2008-11-15T06:39:00.000-08:00

MKMF AWARD WINNERS!!!

(in order of announcement)
MKMF FASHIIONISTA: Jewelry
FASHION AUCTION: TVXQ!
MOBILE POPULARITY: TVXQ!
PHOTOVIDEO?(i forgot what it was called...): Big Bang
NEW FEMALE ARTIST/GROUP: Davichi
NEW MALE ARTIST/GROUP: SHINee!
BEST BALLAD/R&B: Brown Eyes
NETIZEN POPULARITY: TVXQ!
BEST DANCE SONG: Lee Hyori
KFC BEST OST: Kim Jongook & SG Wannabe
HOUSE & ELECTRONIC: Jewelry
BEST HIP HOP: Epik High
BEST ROCK: Nell
BEST SOLO MALE SINGER: ??? sorry... i missed it...
BEST SOLO FEMALE SINGER: Lee Hyori
OVERSEAS POPULARITY AWARD: TVXQ!
BEST FEMALE GROUP: Wondergirls
BEST MALE GROUP: Big Bang T_T
BEST MUSIC VIDEO: Wondergirls (Nobody)
BEST LATEST SONG: Wondergirls (Nobody)
BEST LATEST SINGER: Big Bang T_T
BEST LATESET ALBUM: TVXQ!

devastating cause they didn't win best male group, music video and the last award that Rain was announcing, manda said its the most prestigous one.... hmmms.. kinda sad about male group, but.... given that they were away in Jap for so long... good results alrdy. Changmin cried so hard when they got the best album award, could tell they were really disappointed. SIGH. GOOD JOB still (: LOVEs LOVEs. and new hair of micky. LOL. look like the old yoochun during the YOOSU peak period. hahaha. Xiah and Jae were amazingly HOT. hhahaha.
Introducing Star friends is up, first part only, in JaeLove12's channel. JUNHO will go on the show with JUNSU! omg. twin in action......... alright, shall rub away all the grief with the new show. GAMBARIMASU!!!!

work starts on MONDAY. (:

NICE GAME TODAY!!! hahahaha, i lost so much weight luh.... hahahaha. (:

GLOBAL WARMING!!!!!!

2008-11-08T06:23:00.001-08:00

totally in awe!!!! i need to share these news!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so proud of them!!!! who else... BUT 동 방신 기 LOL. took me long enough to type those 4 words.
just let them surprise you with all their popularity and AWESOMENESS!

NOMINATED:

Disk Bonsang

Digital Bonsang

YEPP Popularity

and Daesang (selected from Bonsang Winners)

MKMF

BEST Auction Internet Popular Artist

BEST Auction Star

Mobile Popular Artist

BEST Dance Song

BEST Male Group

Song of the Year

Artist of the Year

MKMF Overseas Viewer Award

BEST TEAR For Micky Yoochun

WINNERS OF MUSIC BANK charts
#1 : MIROTIC
#2 : Love in the Ice ( Korean ver. )
(#3 : nobody by Wonder Girls )

ORICON CHARTS/MUTIZEN
#1 : Mirotic

and moreeee......

LOL. VIDEO OF THE DAY!

OMG, HIS MOVES ARE SOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOT............

woohooo. okie! back to erm, hot black guy now. =|

stuck in poop

2008-10-27T05:34:00.000-07:00

okie. i declare myself totally unprepared for the As.
another year? not worth it.
and too scary... =
just wanna get it over and done with.
dongbanged too much , tved too much. procrastinated too much..
only one thing tt i didn't do too much , STUDYING.
oohhh dearrrr....
JIAYOU. i shld try to at least concentrate for the next few hrs.
HWAITING.

김준수! 사랑해<3

FOOD AND MORE FOOD

2008-10-19T08:59:00.001-07:00

brighter things for a change.
Oppa and Unnie brought me out.
hehe. good food brighten things up..
along with good company and good sights (:
let the pics do the talking.. hehehe.

self timer shot. poor oppa hit his leg. hahaha!

trying to steal a shot since photos aint allowed at our area

feeding me raw meat...urghh

me and hamtaro?! LOL.

Elaine and Eileen (:

the traditional jap dining table.

UNNIE! and I (:

had alot of fun with the 2 at marina square.. walked ard in attempt to find the singapore flyer. found it with not much esctasy, since we got sick of looking for it. ( quite disappointed, expected something mroe romantic.. HAHA. )... though i was a bit bright and kinda radiating heat, i manage to keep the chill with my ever paralyzed method of talking.. 24/7, come find me t o get a chill (: hahaha.

2008-10-18T21:59:00.000-07:00

its the wrong time to get all emotional..
but can't help but feel all these.

girl
Who sits under the bleachers
Just another day eating alone
And though she smiles
There is something just hiding
And she cant find a way to relate
She just goes unnoticed
As the crowd passes by
And she'll pretend to be busy
When inside she just wants to cry
She'll say...
[Chorus]
Take a little look at the life of Miss Always Invisible
Look a little closer, I really really want you to put yourself in her shoes
Take another look at the face of Miss Always Invisible
Look a little harder and maybe then you will see why she waits for the day
When you'll ask her her name
The beginning, in the first weeks of class
She did everything to try and fit in
But the others they couldn't seem to get past all the things that mismatched on the surface
And she would close her eyes when they left and she fell down the stairs
And the more that they joked
And the more that they screamed
She retreated to where she is nowAnd she'll sing...
[Chorus]
Take a little look at the life of Miss Always Invisible
Look a little harder I really really want you to put yourself in her shoes
Take a little look at the face of Miss Always Invisible
Look a little closer and maybe then you will see why she waits for the day that you will ask her...her name
And one day just the same as the last
Just the days been in counting the time
Came a boy that sat under the bleachers just a little bit further behind...

Miss Invisible (Marie Digby)

neverland?

2008-10-18T09:10:00.000-07:00

someone...... bring me away...

why am i here?

2008-10-18T08:58:00.001-07:00

a good question, i should be studying, why am i here?
another way of looking at this question.... "what the hell am i doing here, i just don't belong here.." a line from the song creep, by radiohead, if u havent heard it and don't intend to get emo, don't.
decided that i should break the rules and make an entry here.. rules are meant to be broken yo.
precisely why i havent been mugging much , too much of the " i wanna live my own way" mentality going on...
i dunno why, but i'm feeling it all over again.
it seems, or at least i myself feel, that i'm like square, trying hard to fit in a circle.
a circle where i don't belong, a circle that has its own sunshine and laughter...
irregardless of my presence, perhaps, my existence serves only to create more misery.. more troubles... and more.... awkwardness.... i dunno what more to say, since in one way or another, i dun matter......
this song's my song... fit me aptly, awkwardly and rightly....wth, don't even know what im spouting anymore.....
back to math..... back to numbing off......

"Creep"

When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fucking special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice when I'm not around
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell I'm doing here?
I don't belong here

She's running out the door
She's running out
She runs runs runs

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
I don't belong here

GRADUATION DAY

2008-10-10T06:57:00.000-07:00

this graduation day's pretty different. if not very much of a difference.
sad to say, i didn't feel much as compared to 4I
where i teared so much..
and we had so much fun right after grad day, girls n boys, rmb the super long captain's ball match?? and rmb the stupid things like human pyramid and "air" shots??? those days, gone forever, but those fond moments will remain, in my heart.... i miss you guys.. it was a class of 41, yet, the rule stays, one for all, all for one.. rmb the class photo session??? where u vain guys dash to the toilet to make a last hair check and got a earful instead??!... haha, that was really memorable, when the girls decided to join in the punishment as well... despite the few discrimination and unhappy events, 4I is still 4I .
(oh, and 骏, I recalled the fountain of wealth pact we made as i reminisce about the past today!)

0732, a class of less than 30, yet painfully segregated due to our diverse combinations. bonded together only by History and GP... but still, an unexpected O level cert led me to NYJC , led me into this class, so i would say, fate put us together for a reason, so lets still have each other in others in our hearts no matter what...i have made great friends in 0732 as well, really, all of you are great people, we just do not have enough time with each other to bond more. JIAYOU guys, everyone of you, even those who arent taking the As with us... despite the rising oil prices, i will not hesitate and be generous with my oil supply.. since i have loads of it. hehe. ok, i can feel the temperature going down.. back to the emotional talk, theres many friends i've made through the stay, since my first day was a very blank canvas, with Zhi Xun, Dom and Jasper being the only souls i know.. so i would say, i did a pretty good job in adapting (or not?) to the relatively different and new environment... i'm really thankful too, to the peeps in choir, the times where we practiced really hard for syf and concerts... it was afterall the first place that made me felt at home in NY, so for those memories and friends that i've made, i'm really grateful as well.
BFF Buin -
never knew i would meet someone so close to my heart....
the words i wanna say...........
i guess you wld know what. so i shall not elaborate here lest u tear by reading my blog.
LOL.

yupp. to all my beloved beloved precious friends, thanks for walking by my life, giving me the support and listening ear whenever i needed. your footprints will be left in my heart permanently, so be nice, just walk by, don't step too hard, it may hurt.... and.. MISS ME!! =DDD

with that, this will/might be the last post till i have a breather, for now, like all of the others. i'm gonna buck up, and stop watching so much vids, stop playing so much addictive games and, stop stoning....

EVERYONE LETS JIAYOU ALRIGHT?!?!!! THE LAST LAP. JIAYOU JIAYOU JIAYOU!! AJA HWAITING!!!!!!!!

signing off, with loads of love.
leen.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHERYL!! =D

2008-10-08T08:05:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHERYL!!!!!!
tried to study in school, but failed extremely terribly..
sequence of events. hist lesson --> tow huay --> went back sch to ATTEMPT to mug --> played abit of piano = noise pollution --> chomp chomp --> my place --> bball!!!! --> blogging.. --> ???
pics will come later when i'm not that lazy =DD
YAY. fellow libra, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

惯性的快乐与笑声，
让我忘了怎么表现悲伤。。
笑声越是响亮，心里震撼约大。。。
我的保护色，毫无瑕疵，
将我的哀伤，完美的掩饰。
就连泪水，仿佛都显得太强悍。
像坚强的贝壳，每人敲得进去，
甚至连自己，都害怕心被触碰。

2008-10-05T08:53:00.001-07:00

(Tried to give you warning but everyone ignores me)
Told you everything loud and clear
(But nobody’s listening)
(Called to you so clearly but you don’t want to hear me)
Told you everything loud and clear
(But nobody’s listening)

I got a heart full of pain, head full of stress
handfull of anger, held in my chest
And everything left’s a waste of time
I hate my rhymes, but hate everyone else’s more
I’m riding on the back of this pressure
Guessing that it’s better I can’t keep myself together
Because all of this stress gave me something to write on
The pain gave me something I could set my sights on
Never forget the blood sweat and tears
The uphill struggle over years the fear and
Trash talking and the people it was to
And the people that started it just like you

2008-10-05T08:29:00.000-07:00

^^^WHAT WE DID^^^

^^^WHAT WE WATCHED^^^

^^^WHERE WE WERE^^^

^^^WHAT I'VE BEEN DOING

things are the same old same, if not worse, cause even now my bro's ignoring me.
whats their problem? or whats my problem???
screw it man.
screw it.
if only 17 years and 355 days ago, i didn't make it out alive........
life wld be so much better for every one out there.
URGH.

2008-10-04T11:07:00.000-07:00

1) the person who tagged :LESTER WONG who apparently got FORCED. HMPHS.

2) Your relationship with him/her is:Classmates , good confidante , good friend :D

3) Your five impressions of him/her:1)hmm.. muscle man! 2) ALPHA 3) emo and down sometimes ):4) complicated and complex 5) ANTI-MATH , SNAGS and DBSK ! (HMPHS)

4) The most memorable thing he/she had done for you
hmm. the above banner is done by this guy himself! claps claps.

5) The most memorable thing he/she said to you:
(A) and seeya! LOL!

6) If he/she becomes your lover you will : FAINTS AGAIN. LOL! no luh, GEMINI not as bad. BUT. its not my place (:

7) If he/she become your lover, thing he/she has to improve on will be:
LOVE DBSK MORE!!!!!!!!!

8) If he/she become your enemy, you will: don't think i'll ever have enemies luh! hahahas. i FORGIVE. but prob not forget. LOL.

9) If he/she became your enemy, the reason will be : HE KILLED DBSK.

10) The most desired thing you want to do for him/her now is: MAKE U DO MORE MATH!!!!
hahahas. my revenge. lock you up with only math materials

11) your overall impression of him/her is : recently ... EMO. LOL. but not the emo punk kind!!!!!! u get the gist (:

12) How do you think people around you will feel about you? : refer below (:

13) The characters you love of yourself are: ( below again )

14) On the contrary, the characters you hate yourself are: this gets irritating on second attempt. LOL LOOK DOWN!!! not your keyboard, but SCROLL DOWNNN

15) The most ideal person you want to be is: ...........

16) For people who cares and likes you, say something to them:
i never get tired of saying this to my friends LOVE YA!!!! (:

17) Pass this quiz to 10 people that you wish to know how they feel about you"

i don't have tt many readers ya knw.. LOL. JUST DO IT (:

TAGGED .

2008-10-04T09:59:00.000-07:00

HERE YOU GO!! (:(:(: sorry for being so late!! haha , got flooded by your pictures on your blog that i didn't see this . AND! i still cldn't get the javascript thingy disabled, so im typing from scratch. BE GLAD OWIGHTS?!! hehee .

i was taggedd superrrrr long ago, so here it goes :

1) the person who tagged :
TAN WEI JIM

2) Your relationship with him/her is:
Ex-classmates and very good friends. LOL. feels familiar???

3) Your five impressions of him/her:
i) First impression: weird, weird and very weird
ii) don't open up to people easily , maybe that was the past? now maybe not so le ba . hah.
iii) quite bitchy. LOL!
iv) stubborn
v) emo.............

4) The most memorable thing he/she had done for you
hmmmms. listening out when i needed a ear? lol.

5) The most memorable thing he/she said to you:
WALAU... hahaha. you always said that!!!!

6) If he/she becomes your lover you will :
TAURUS!!! *FAINTS*

7) If he/she become your lover, thing he/she has to improve on will be:
be more sincere!!!!! Don't lie too much! lol.

8) If he/she become your enemy, you will:
we once were right. LOL. no, don't wanna relive those bitchy days. hahas.

9) If he/she became your enemy, the reason will be :
YOU STARTED IT FIRST!!

10) The most desired thing you want to do for him/her now is:
get this tag done. LOL! after 2 reminders. finally right. haha

11) your overall impression of him/her is :
COLDDDDDDDD......./ COOL??? (refering to the pic i took of you in class. LOL.)

12) How do you think people around you will feel about you? :
weird??!! as always.... LOL. and COLDDDDDD.....

13) The characters you love of yourself are:
friendly...
helpful towards friends??...
hmmm.. this is like an A level exam question or smth. ADVANCED LEVEL. LOL

14) On the contrary, the characters you hate yourself are:
WOAH. a long list to be..
yes like you, procrastination is my vice!!!
too 大喇喇
unpredictable too...
RANDOM
too-hard-to-decipher
CONFLICTED MIND
TOO emotional
OVERLY sensitive
OVERLY possesive and jealous
EXTREME lack in self confidence.
EXTREME indecisiveness
.........MANY MANY MANY MOREE......

15) The most ideal person you want to be is:
can i not be a person???? lemme be like a star up there, at least i'll be admired and get gazed at. HAHAH.

16) For people who cares and likes you, say something to them:
I LOVE YOU PEOPLE!!!!! =DD

17) Pass this quiz to 10 people that you wish to know how they feel about you"

hmmm. everyone who read this PLEASE DO IT. i'll just list the norm people den (:

1) TAN WEI JIM
2) ANGELAAAA buin
3) XINYING buin
4) LESTER
5) HONG SIEW
6) AMANDA
7) ELAINE
8) CHERYL
9) BRANSON
10) PEI SHAN

2008-10-04T05:07:00.001-07:00

i'm gonna perform miracles!!!!!!
screw whatever's going on now.
went to friendster just now,
reminiscing abit as i looked at my past comments.
hahah, loads of eileen is lame , funny and laugh alot.
LOL. no change i guess.....still... me, on the outside....
maybe i should learn to trust more, or not.
everytime i try to warn myself, i fail again and again.
placing too much hopes, too much expectations..

well, someone there, you with my key, come soon yeah.
till then, maybe....

2008-10-04T00:10:00.001-07:00

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

2008-10-03T22:21:00.001-07:00

oh and when daddy uses the F word, we know hes really desperate.
" go and drink your fucking coffee!"
poor dad, hes torn both ways. sigh.

2008-10-03T22:14:00.001-07:00

what can i do man,
it always happens.
again and again,
not like we want it,
not like we like it.
have you thought why,
we're seldom home.
and given the times that we are,
we want to leave far..

screw it , im gonna go mug and get myself a scholarship and leave .
i take my hat off daddy, seriously, and hes the only reason why we never flare up.
because its just too sad to see him suffer when he's done so much for us alrdy.
and now i hear them through the walls , about the same issues over and over again .
screw it. screw it screw it.

2008-10-02T08:07:00.000-07:00

its just me i guess.
just look bully-able.
perhaps, i cant really blame them?
brought this upon myself??
so i guess nth much has changed?
ok maybe, i do have to admit, intentions are different now.
i dunno wht those kids had in their minds when they decide to bully eileen again.
for fun? because shes fugly and no one knows why shes among the rest?
it seems like no matter hw hard i train, hw tough i try to get,
the debris inside just allow others to break me so easily.
what should i do man, my identity , complicated enough, is coupled with my ever conflicting mind.
debris debris debris, the haunting again.

2008-10-02T07:29:00.000-07:00

I'll be there for my friends who need me,
for a ear, for a hand, nothing more, nothing less.
once bitten twice shy, i have you to thank, in a way.
for teaching me, lessons that i need in life.
i take what i've experienced as learnings,
and to not repeat the same mistakes,
and to open up my eyes, to close up my heart a little,
to respect myself more.....

2008-10-01T06:39:00.000-07:00

went to mug with lester at cp subway today,
and the queue was really long but the place was rather vacant today.
however, the crowd started streaming in soon,
and we knew we had to move after the staff came to ask if we were studying.
lols, i think he didn't knew how to chase us out of the place or anything.
so he started the conversation with:
" hi, are you all studying here? "
-err like duhhhh , as i looked down at our tables, spread with books, paper, pens and calculators.. thought it was pretty obvious . haha. and no, i didn't say that, cause i could tell he was trying hard through his awkward expression, poor guy. XD
" erm, yupp, we are"
" oh, so are you all gonna order any other food soon? "
- i looked down at my 1 1/2 cookies untouched and my 3 inch worth of oven roasted chicken breast hearty italian , PLUS a 3/4 filled regular barley. hmmmms, do i look like i can finish em all? hahas but i did feel bad about staying there to mug.
" i guess so? not now though."
" oh, err, do you all need 3 tables? or are there more coming? " (Something lidat)
- oh crap, yes i realised that 2 of us were taking 3 tables, but since angela was coming i didn't think about that at that time. hahas. pretty mean huh, sorry customers at subway today . XD
and so we left the place, and went around to get a new place while waiting for my buin.
and boy is cp crowded today!!!!!! the public holiday dint really do us students much good as there was a huge flow of crowd and patrons in fastfood outlets.
and sooooo, after walking around, we decided to go back to my area to look for tables under my flats. but unfortunately, they were either infested by ants, or stinky due to the garbage chute. and FINALLY, back to my place again, the sleep inducing warm home, that me and buin nua-ed the whole of yesterday after bball.
first time les went to a girl's place i think, haha, and for buin, i lost count of the number of times she came. almost like her second home alrdy =D
and wei quan nearly came over to mug together , lols.
les left in the evening to meet wq somewhere else and me and buin checked out some of royston tan's productions, they're really good, especially the film "cut", ( strongly recommended by me ) me and buin were utterly amused .
after dinner, me and buin wanted to play ball, BUT, to our dismay, when we arrived at the court, it was totally occupied by big boys in jerseys. that was a huge sign for us to back off home with our simple intentions to shoot some balls. o well, so we decided to divert our time to another sport, badminton, one that my dad LOVES A LOT. hahah, and so we went back up to exchange my bball for shuttlecocks and rackets ( i don't think that's how we spell it? but the dictionary spells it this way. hmmmm) and a new net. my dad came down to join us shortly and set up the net for us. hehes, i think i got my wife interested in badminton already. its been quite some time since i last played badminton already, but it was GREAT FUN =D smacking and smacking = firmer muscles. =DDD

alright, i shall go bathe, buin left half an hour ago. yup yup.
shall mug after bathing =D GAMBATTE! HWAITING! GA YAO!!

Here I Am

2008-10-01T06:31:00.000-07:00

Another end, another start.
There's no beginning if there's is no end,
yup, so here I am again, starting off from where i left.
the reason, being technical faults of my live journal.
the page just wouldn't load on my side,
and many times i feel liking penning (typing) something,
the page gets stuck and after like 10 mins, i lost all senses to write/type.
たから, blogspot, again. =D

死亡

2008-06-13T08:25:00.000-07:00

说了太多。
是为别人而说。
自己的话，都到哪儿了？
一句一句，被心中的旋涡吞咽，埋没。
被卷进了龙卷风。
忘了心语该怎么表达。

奇怪，是忘了？还是逃避？
答案很清楚，但却不想被触碰到。。
虽然说了那么多，我发现，我的表达能力真得很差。
差在不懂得怎么表达自己。

难过，悲伤。　
但原因却显得愚蠢。
因为又害怕，一再被遗忘，被丢下，被遗弃。。
所以信任。我还是不认识这个字眼。
不想接受。。　
不敢接受。。
害怕又被伤害。

我想。
这次因该够清楚了吧。
我也是时候面对了。
这样不是最完美的结局吧。。

时间，可以冲淡一切。好与坏。。。
也不该去想了吧。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。
我的心，再一次，选择死亡。-----------------------------------------------------------------

紫色的旋律

2008-06-11T12:34:00.000-07:00

为何是华文？！哈哈，被骏哥感染了。是的，我会PO多点文章的。＝Ｄ我也好久没接触华文了。谢谢你啦！把我拉回来。还有，我说骏哥啊，隐私，是不存在的。我想，连内心深处的某个角落，都不可能得到隐私。世界上，人类，没有秘密。
深夜里的寂静，优美，凄凉。
脱离白天的吵杂，黑夜的喧哗。
深夜的宁静，不受打扰。
只听见键盘的敲打声。
打着每个字眼，
一切显得，平凡，毫无目的。
人的最终目的。不就是死亡吗？
那为何把空虚填满，而最后得到的，还是空虚呢？
而在填补那些空虚的当下，仿佛早成了更多空虚。　

哦。时间不多了。
该回到书海了。许如芸的泪海，因该是来自Ｋ书Ｋ到飚泪的灵感吧。
好的。跟大家说掰掰咯！